I’ve already written ad nauseam about John Hutchison’s efforts to save humanity from the Fukushima reactor accident by using a radiation neutralizing ray gun he built next to my vacation rental property, so today I am going to confine my remarks to John’s other proclivities. First up – cross dressing.
Living on the bleeding edge of pseudoscience and technology must be stressful. To relieve the burden, like Dennis Rodman and J. Edgar Hoover before him, John will occasionally, or frequently, slip into something a little more comfortable and assume the persona of CNN UFO reporter Karla Kniption (the K is not silent). He’s like Superman in reverse except he turns into Lois Lane instead of Clark Kent.
Before reading any further you must watch the video; it’s only 38 seconds long.
I'm not quite sure about his sense of style. He does have a flair for makeup; his lipstick matches his teddy perfectly. However, as my cousin Michele duly noted, someone needs to teach that man how to select appropriate footwear when rockin’ a teddy.
What do you think he’s using for breasts? They don’t have the proper jiggle factor. In an effort to help, I Googled breasts for cross dressing. I was a little hesitant to do so because I didn’t want that phrase in my NSA profile. At the top of the search results was a website called Absolutely Special Trade, located in Europe, of course, with a mind boggling selection of silicone breasts: Aphrodite Ultra, TransTorso, Classic Curved, Amolux Ruby (they’re velvety soft) and Classic Velcro (I was afraid to look at the velcro model so I can't give you the link). I was partial to the Amolux Ruby pair, you know, because of their softness. I can just imagine how they…Umm, never mind. I’ll have to continue my research later. I’m sure John could also find some suitable footwear there too. He should check out the red patent leather Peeptoe Pumps. They’d be bitchin’ with that flaming red teddy.
I’ve spent too much time cross dressing–I mean writing about cross dressing–so I don’t have time deal with any of John's other interests right now. You can see more of Karla Kniption on her Facebook page. Now where’s that link to the fake boobie website? I have to get back to my research.
Other tales from the Hutchison Files:
My Neighbors Have Ray Guns
John Hutchison's Ray Guns Silenced (but not for long)
John Hutchison's Ray Guns Redux
A Problem of Biblical Proportions
I'm taking in a little weekend moonshine over at Yeah Write.