Wednesday, December 11, 2013

John Hutchison's Ray Guns Redux

The Ray Gun
Kellie is back home in Oceanside, California, and I’m alone in Gold Beach, Oregon, trying to quell my neighbor’s ray guns. Since they first showed up next to our vacation rental property with their ray guns mounted on top of an old, white sheriff’s bus, they have been busy establishing a more permanent setup. They are remodeling their building, formally a small storage facility, into a laboratory with personal living quarters for self proclaimed scientist John Hutchison and his lovely wife Nancy. It looks like they are spending a good deal of money. I never knew crazy was so lucrative. 

The Ray Gun's New Home
For those of you who are unfamiliar with John Hutchison and are too lazy to read my previous post, John claims to have discovered a variety of physical phenomena, which he understandably calls the Hutchison Effect. The Hutchison Effect can counteract gravity, neutralize radioactivity and provide free energy. Oh, I almost forgot, it was also responsible for cleaning the Gulf of Mexico after the Mercado oil spill. As a bonus, his radioactivity neutralizing ray gun also improves the weather. It’s because of it’s ability to control the weather that he refuses to publish the precise details about how his ray gun technology works. They are using the ray gun to rid the Pacific Ocean of radioactivity released from the “extinction level event” generated by the nuclear reactor accident in Fukushima, Japan.

I shit you not, look it up, but my neighbors have formed an Oregon non-profit corporation called Life Ray (get it). Oregon should change their license plate motto from We Love Dreamers to We Love Those With Diminished Mental Capacity. I wanted to move to Oregon, I love it there, but I'm staying in California; at least I understand the SoCal psychosis.

According to the great scientist’s wife, Nancy:

“Life Ray will use technology that converts radioactive materials into inert elements. The theory underlying the technology is that all matter is energy that pulsates. Radioactive elements vibrate at a distorted frequency as they are trying to stabilize. Technology can supply the pulsations that radioactive materials need to stabilize. The technology used by Life Ray utilizes a computer that outputs vibrational tones along a speaker wire. The tones are then fed into vacuum radio tube radio frequency generators and amplifiers. The wire carries the signals to interferometers and an amplifier. The signals transmute radioactive elements into inert elements which are harmless.”

If you don’t have a degree in physics, like I do, let me explain what Nancy is saying - it’s bullshit. The vibrational tones she mentions are usually mixed with music, frequently The Beatles. 

“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away / Now it looks as though they’re here to stay / Oh, I believe in yesterday”

They have the bass turned up so high that no matter what they play, it penetrates your bones. I want to punch somebody. It takes a bottle of wine a day just to calm me down (which doesn’t seem to be working at the moment).

All of this would be so fucking funny if were happening to you, but it’s not. It’s happening to me and I’m fucking pissed. Normally I’d say I’m F%@%#$& pissed, but I’m too fucking pissed to redact the fucking expletives.

18 comments:

  1. Is there a ray gun that turns water into beer? Because that would be soo cool!

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    1. It could probably turn water into beer, but since they're currently using the ray gun to protect humanity, I suspect that it's harder to book time on this device than the Large Hadron Collider at CERN.

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  2. Oh my gosh, I kind of thought you were kidding about your neighbors in the last post! I could take all of it, except for the loud bass. I can't handle loud bass at all. When cars drive by, pounding it, it literally makes me cringe and shiver. I would have to sell that vacation property! I hope for your sake that some other crazy idea comes to him, like using chocolate to fight radioactivity!

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  3. Your story provides further evidence of how irrational beliefs are endemic across societies, irrespective of whether the deluded acquire psychiatric labels. After that (moderately) profound statement I'll return to my usual intellectual level: when are you going to publish your post about mammary glands!

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    1. If my mammary serves me correctly, that post is next.

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  4. Jolly good - I'll put a reminder on my electrontit calendar.

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  5. http://www.theliberationartist.com/post/54144713438/feature-friday-interview-with-john-hutchison
    https://www.facebook.com/john.k.hutchison
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Highlander232232/sandbox
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beyond_Invention
    www.thehutchisoneffect.com
    http://https://www.youtube.com/user/johnkhutchison1
    http://http://www.slideshare.net/johnkhutchison

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    1. Mary, what's your connection to John?

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  6. I think you may find this full of material interest to you...

    http://www.cosmic-token.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=838#p19311

    You have friends who feel similar.

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  7. With your background Joe, why not get involved to prove whether or not the tech actually works? Knowing Nancy as I do through internet communications, I think she would welcome a tester with your background.

    It would be a win-win for you, proving it does not work would give you more ammunition for a nuisance complaint or whatever avenue you pursue to get them shut down while proving that it does opens up a whole new market to target for the rental. The lab may be quite the draw, not to mention having pacific beach front property that is radiation free compared to all the other places that would not be. Their stated intent is certainly worth supporting if the tech actually works. I encourage you to be creative, perhaps if you approach this from a different angle, it might actually benefit you.

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    1. This is a humor blog so forgive me for not engaging in a discussion about nuisance complaints and marketing channels. If you'd like to identify yourself we can have this discussion in another forum.

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    2. Pick the forum Joe, provide a link and Ill meet you there when I can. My name is Dan and I am a average guy who thinks radiation elimination just might be a good thing.

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    3. Send me a message through my Kellie's World Facebook page. Here's the link:

      https://www.facebook.com/KelliesWorld?ref=hl

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  8. what are you doing to end this horrible contamination?
    I researched for weeks. Lead to the Hutchinsons. Grateful. Fits my own thoughts of changing the frequency - in our own bodies (we are 80% water).
    see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu9P167HLsw
    The earth is a living being - conscious like we are. She is doing her part to change all to Love frequency. We can at least do same. Love 2 U! Areeza

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    1. Unfortunately, Debra, there is no credible evidence that supports the Hutchisons' claims.

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