|I'm jumping for joy. Notice my smile.|
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Monday, June 30, 2014
It’s been more than month since I’ve written anything in any of my three blogs; life intervened. Spending a month with my father following his open heart surgery broke my writing habit. In a couple of weeks we start our biggest trip of the year, which should give me time to start writing again. I say biggest trip because we’ve already cruised a few times this year and plan to finish 2014 with a few weeks in the Caribbean. What started out as an eight-day tour of Ireland somehow grew into a two-month trek.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
My brother Gerard and I chat periodically. He usually calls during his drive home from work. If he calls at any other time, it typically means he has family news to share. If he leaves a voicemail that says, “Call me,” it’s usually not good news. A week after his last call me message, I was on a flight to New York.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
I have not been very conscientious about protecting Mr. Winky over the years. Throughout a lifetime of carelessness I have subjected him to multiple chemical burns and countless assaults from an endless variety projectiles. Today I wacked him on his head; he never saw coming. It was an accident. I apologized profusely. Just to be clear, Mr. Winky is a euphemism for the centerpiece of my family jewels, the royal staff, if you will.
Monday, February 17, 2014
When the alarm went off at six-thirty on Valentine’s Day morning, Kellie jumped out of bed and started packing. I smothered my head with a pillow and ignored her until she started rattling around next to the bed. She dropped my Valentine’s gift on the nightstand: a 2009 Beaulieu Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignon and bag of barkTHINSTM snacking chocolate. I didn't know what the hell barkTHINSTM were, but at $15.99 a bottle she plunked down about four times what she normally spends on my wine. She's clearly guilt ridden about abandoning me on Valentine's Day.
Monday, February 10, 2014
I tried finding my wife’s condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, but Kellieness is not a generally accepted diagnosis. Dissociative identity disorder, more commonly known as multiple personality disorder, was the closest match I could find after ruling out the only other likely candidates, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.