It’s been 16 months since I’ve written anything, but preparing remarks for my daughter Dani's wedding got the creative juices flowing again. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that started flowing.
Despite 21 days of traveling and eating Caribbean food from kitchens of dubious cleanliness, my stomach had held up remarkably well. That hasn't always been the case. Back in 1996, while traveling in Japan, the sushi I consumed for lunch one day suddenly felt like it was still alive and swimming through my intestines and making a mad dash for my colon. I was in full blown panic mode. Kellie kept telling me to calm down but I just yelled at her. "I can't calm down, it's quivering."
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
|The Hand Of Reason|
“We don’t have free will,” I told Kellie. “We believe we're in control our own actions but it’s just an illusion.”
Whack! Kellie's right palm landed landed flush against my left cheek.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
|I'm jumping for joy. Notice my smile.|
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Monday, June 30, 2014
It’s been more than month since I’ve written anything in any of my three blogs; life intervened. Spending a month with my father following his open heart surgery broke my writing habit. In a couple of weeks we start our biggest trip of the year, which should give me time to start writing again. I say biggest trip because we’ve already cruised a few times this year and plan to finish 2014 with a few weeks in the Caribbean. What started out as an eight-day tour of Ireland somehow grew into a two-month trek.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
My brother Gerard and I chat periodically. He usually calls during his drive home from work. If he calls at any other time, it typically means he has family news to share. If he leaves a voicemail that says, “Call me,” it’s usually not good news. A week after his last call me message, I was on a flight to New York.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
I have not been very conscientious about protecting Mr. Winky over the years. Throughout a lifetime of carelessness I have subjected him to multiple chemical burns and countless assaults from an endless variety of projectiles. Today I wacked him on his head; he never saw coming. It was an accident. I apologized profusely. Just to be clear, Mr. Winky is a euphemism for the centerpiece of my family jewels, the royal staff, if you will.
Monday, February 17, 2014
When the alarm went off at six-thirty on Valentine’s Day morning, Kellie jumped out of bed and started packing. I smothered my head with a pillow and ignored her until she started rattling around next to the bed. She dropped my Valentine’s gift on the nightstand: a 2009 Beaulieu Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignon and bag of barkTHINSTM snacking chocolate. I didn't know what the hell barkTHINSTM were, but at $15.99 a bottle she plunked down about four times what she normally spends on my wine. She's clearly guilt ridden about abandoning me on Valentine's Day.
Monday, February 10, 2014
I tried finding my wife’s condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, but Kellieness is not a generally accepted diagnosis. Dissociative identity disorder, more commonly known as multiple personality disorder, was the closest match I could find after ruling out the only other likely candidates, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.