Thursday, May 24, 2012

Man Rules

I didn't write these rules, but I wish I had. My college roommate Cedric sent them to me this morning, and since I had nothing else for today's post, I'm sharing them with you. What's interesting is that I've written about a number of these issues already, sometimes touching on several of the rules in a single post. I've added a few links to related posts. Enjoy.

Man Rules

  Now here are the rules from the male side  

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.  You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are  for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one. 
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we...
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping...
Pass this to as many men as you can -  to give them a laugh... 
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh, because its true!


  1. I find this, along with the ad graphic of a pistol (for a safety lock device) right next to it, hysterical!

    1. Though I did not see that particular ad, I do find that Google's ad choices can sometimes make an interesting adjunct to the post. I'm sure you realize that the ad selections are based on not only the page content but also on the browsing history of the viewer. Apparently, you're in the market for a firearm or ammunition. Is that for the farm animals ( or is Doc in big trouble.