Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Divorce

Pictures of Sharks Cove, Oahu
 Sharks Cove on Oahu
courtesy of TripAdvisor
You wouldn’t have known it by looking at me, but I was miserable. Instead of going home to my wife and children after a day of working on the ship, I spent a couple of hours at the gym to avoid returning to my empty apartment. Each night I'd drink a bottle of wine and numb myself to sleep. In the morning I would wake up and repeat the same lonely routine all over again. Eight months had passed since I separated from my wife. Tomorrow I would be appearing before the family court judge for the last time. My divorce would be final, dropping a painful milestone on an unhappy period in my life. Rather than picking up the bottle again, I grabbed a towel and headed down to the hot tub.

A bikini clad woman sat on the edge of the hot tub, watching her young daughter swim in the adjacent pool. I didn't see an engagement or wedding ring. Some people see those bands as mere baubles; I'm not one of them. I can't recall how the conversation started, but we eventually got around to talking about my impending divorce. She asked me if I was going to celebrate. I hadn't thought about my ordeal as something to celebrate, but since my confidence was starting to swell, I asked her if she would like to join me for drinks after the legal proceedings and help me consummate the end of my marriage. 
Loser! That’s what she must have been thinking because she promptly rejected my proposal. I’m not easily dissuaded; I just had to find another approach. Since I wanted to see her wearing her current outfit again, I suggested a weekend beach date with our children. She accepted immediatelyKids are date bait when fishing for single moms.
On Saturday morning, we loaded our children into the back of my Diamante and headed out to Sharks Cove, one of the best snorkeling spots on Oahu’s North Shore. We were about halfway to our destination when she announced that we had to stop so she could buy a bathing suit. What sort of woman goes on a beach date but forgets to wear a bathing suit? This should have been an early indicator that Kellie was somehow different than most women, but I missed that signal. What I didn’t miss was that her bathing suit didn’t fit her at all, frequently uncovering her assets. The date was much more than the peep show; we talked non-stop and our kids got along well. It was a great day.
In one week, my life went from misery to joy. I no longer needed alcohol to induce sleep, the emptiness in my apartment was filled with anticipation, and the smile on my face finally reflected how I felt inside. We've been together for 18 years.
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37 comments:

  1. What a great story. So glad you found happiness!

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  2. What a sweet story. You and my hub were in a similar fix. I often say that, when I met him (in a New Orleans bar, no less), he had a big neon sign over him flashing "DIVORCED! HURTING!" Then he finally got up the nerve to ask me to a Saints game. And when I asked him to bring me some chocolate from the concessions stand, he brought me one of each kind they had. That was it...

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  3. Congratulations! I love a story with a great ending -- or beginning, in this case.

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  4. My marriage was on the brink of divorce once. I thought there would be no life afterwards if we were to divorce. Thankfully I never found out!

    Should we ever divorce, let's hope not, but if we did, I think after reading this story I would find the strength to carry on.

    Thanks for sharing!

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  5. Great story Joe! It's funny how things work out.

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  6. awesome story of how you guys met. crazy that it was the day before your divorce! congrats on 18 years!

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  7. Thats crazy that you met Kellie so soon after your divorce! I think it must have been fated! What a great story!

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  8. Wow, I love happy endings. This is really good b/c I had no idea where you were going.
    Congratulations!

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  9. Awwwww... And LOL at the phrase "my confidence was starting to swell" as you were talking to a hot chick in a bikini.

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  10. Kids are date bait...I love that!!! This is a great story, and thanks for sharing it.

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  11. What a happy ending to that sad period in your life.

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  12. I love stories with happy endings. I'm glad I read through to the end because I was about to post a comment urging you not to move too quickly. Instead, congratulations on your eighteen years of happiness.

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  13. Well, you have all the ladies swooning with this sweet, funny story. I hope Kellie approves! From all the things you write about her I wouldn't have guessed that you've been together eighteen years; you speak of her as if it's all fresh, interesting and hot. Inspriing!

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  14. I've been wondering how you met! Great story and even better timing! ;)

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    1. Yes, it was the classic tale of boy sees hot girl in bikini at hot tub.

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  15. Awww, I love that you've been together 18 years! Happy! I love relationship stories and yours did not disappoint! Thanks for sharing.

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  16. I loved this post b/c it's the first time I've read about how you and Kellie met. And it's PERFECT given all the other posts I've read. (No I'm not a stalker, I just think you're hilarious).

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  17. I love it. I am glad to hear that you found love that worked for you and your kids. And 18 years? That's a long ass time. Very well done.

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  18. Nice one Joe, as a woman who has separated from her husband and now after three years is getting back together with him I can only agree that life is strange and that there are no perfect fits - doesn't mean it doesn't feel perfect tho :)

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  19. What a great story! I am so glad to hear how you and Kellie met, since it obviously has worked out well for the two of you :)

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  20. I love "how we met" stories! It's great when things work out. :-)

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  21. Such a great meet cute. Especially since she rejected your first angle flat-out. Congrats on 18 years!

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  22. Lucky you! Great story served well by the breezy tone. I love your blog's About page too. I'll be back to read more about your adventures.

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  23. I love how we met stories. This is a gem.

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  24. Going to be a girl for a minute and say AWWW!!! What a great meet-cute. It was just meant to happen that way. :)

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  25. I love this Joe! I love how Kellie's personality comes through - the personality we've come to enjoy so much in the blog -- even in your first meetings. And the misery replaced by joy? Congratulations.

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    1. Thanks, Cindy. It's funny how all the signs were right there on the day we met. No one can say I didn't have ample warning.

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  26. Even in our lowest moments, it just goes to show that you never know what is around the corner.

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  27. Swing by and get your rocking blogger award dude!

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  28. What a great story--thanks for sharing!

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  29. WOW...that is a great story! Happy happy! I love happy endings...and for you it was a happy beginning. You two look SO cute together. It's so funny....but you just do not seem like you were in the Navy...you are too hip....too cool....(especially a submariner...right?).

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  30. Been there...sort of. Self-worth is everything!

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