Once I broke the no pet rule, Kellie felt free to do the same. Sometimes she would buy pets while I was out on patrol aboard my submarine, the USS OHIO. During one patrol, she decided to get a new cat. When our girls started bickering over who got to hold the animal, Kellie solved the problem by getting two cats. Kellie knew she had to break the news to me before I retuned from sea. She sent me a letter (which I received at my first port call) containing a picture of my two youngest daughters, each holding their own cat. I may have been smart enough to command a nuclear powered submarine, but I somehow failed to grasp the meaning of the picture. I assumed the cats belonged to friends or neighbors.
When I returned from sea, I learned that I was now the proud owner of two kittens. My first inclination was to throw a fit and demand that Kellie get rid of the little beasts. But after two and a half months at sea, I had much more urgent needs that were not going to be satisfied if I started doing battle with my wife. I relented. Powerless to stop the further acquisition of even more pets, I decided to extract whatever I could in exchange for each new animal. Kellie and I struck a deal; if Kellie got a new pet, then I would get a new electronic toy. So far I have an iRiver MP3 player, a Konica Minolta Dimage A2 8MP Digital Camera with 7x Anti Shake Optical Zoom, a Sony Portable Minidisc Recorder, a 4-Terabyte Western Digital RAID-5 Network Attached Storage Device, a pair of Bose Acoustic Noise Canceling headphones, an Amazon Kindle, a 52-inch Samsung High Definition television, an iPhone 3GS, and a MacBook Pro. Furthermore, I’ve also gained agreement that I never have to walk the dogs, feed the animals, or cleanup poop and pee.
Kellie wants another dog to breed with her beloved Marley. I want an iPhone 5, an iPad 3, and a fully loaded 27-inch iMac. Negotiations are in progress.