For some reason, I am not allowed to hold the passports or the money while on vacation. Even though my wife has all the travel funds, I discovered that it is still inappropriate to refer to her as a cash cow. (It is generally a good idea to avoid the word cow altogether when describing one's significant other.) Other phrases to avoid include: loot lady, moolah mama, dough girl, wampum wench, and boobie stash (I have more but they're bit too crass). Anyway, the proper title is Cash Queen.