Friday, May 3, 2013

Charming Idiosyncrasies

During the initial stages of a budding romance, both parties are usually very well behaved, hiding those charming idiosyncrasies that might frighten away a potential mate. People do more than just control their endearing quirks, they also tend to suppress the basic bodily functions that make us part of the animal kingdom. We try to make believe that we don't urinate, defecate, menstruate, belch, burp or fart. But over time, maintaining the charade becomes burdensome and we eventually let our guard down. Kellie has decided to restore some of the mystique in our relationship by banning the fart. Since we can't eliminate flatulence, the new rule is: "Thou shall not release audible flatus in the presence of thy mate." She has also declared that the offender shall be punished with a pinch.

Once the law went into effect, we quickly discovered how much Kellie liked to blow her own horn. Whereas I bravely accepted my punishment, Kellie tried to escape her comeuppance by fleeing. This past week, my 15 year-old daughter caught us as I chased Kellie to administer her punishment. Turn up your volume and enjoy.


  1. I question the example being set for this poor dog.

  2. Don't worry about the dog, Steven, she's blind.

  3. I wonder what they're going to think when the see you chasing Kellie down the street in France?

  4. What a great rule to keep order in a household.

    However, if I adopted it in our home Mrs Jones' arms would be black and blue.