Thursday, April 25, 2013

My Little Stinker

I give the gift of flatulence. It doesn't come from me directly, but I have the rare talent of inducing it in others, particularly my granddaughter, although my wife, Kellie, occasionally claims I give her indigestion too. This skill is quite useful because when that little turd (the granddaughter, not Kellie) gets a gas bubble stuck in her belly she wails like a cat in blender. Freeing that aromatic source of discomfort is not difficult, all it takes is pumping those chubby little legs up and down a few times (again, I'm referring to the baby, not Kellie), and after a few seconds, out pops some sweet relief.

My 21 year-old daughter-in-law thinks I'm some sort baby-calming savant. Kellie would add an adjective before savant and then probably drop the word savant altogether. I have no secrets or tricks. I'm just an experienced father of four who can run through the gamut of quieting techniques in record time: swaddling, shushing, swinging, pressure on the belly and plugging the little screamer with a pacifier. And if all that fails to quiet the beast, then I stuff a boob in her mouth, not mine of course, that would be pointless and gross. For that chore I hand her over to her mother, but otherwise I keep my granddaughter cradled in my arms whatever her mood may be.

I'm giddy over the birth of my first grandchild, Michela, and thrilled that my daughter-in-law decided to spend several weeks with us until my son, Russell, a Navy Aviation Electronics Technician, returns from a six month deployment and meets his daughter for the first time.

Welcome to the family, Michela.



  1. She is beautiful! Congratulations!

  2. Awwww, Joe!!! She's just precious!! I'm sure she'll bring you as much joy as my 5 month old nephew has. Blow outs and all!!! ;)
    Congratulations, Grandpa!

  3. Congratulations!! What a beautiful sweetie pie. I can totally imagine you being a wonderful grandpa, toots and all :)

  4. You sound every bit the proud grandpa. Congratulations.

  5. I have one too! A pink one! But I can't share with you because her parents (my stepson and his wife) won't allow it. She kind of looks like yours. But cuter, of course.

  6. Best wishes on becoming a grandpa.

    Let the wind fill your sails for weeks to come.